Posted by: prayer0617 | January 11, 2012

My first blog post….

Starting a blog is very unfamilar.  It is hard to know the right choices to make, the right words to use, if people will be angry or happy or if anyone will read this at all besides me.

Choosing a theme even seemed unfamilar. But here I am on the blog — my words on the web.

My prayer is that my blog will be encouraging and though sometimes (most always) truth is difficult in a world built on lies and deception we can all come through as Elohim (our Creator) intended.  My hope at the end of my time is that I have made every day count as best I could.   As mentioned on my introduction, I almost died and now I am living life’s second chance to live for my Creator.

Posted by: prayer0617 | October 1, 2016

In His Presence Hearts are Changed


Over the past several weeks or months I have been feeling the fear of lack more than usual.   Fear of the lack of money to pay our bills and falling short.  Being a woman of faith I know that God will provide for my needs.  There are times that He allows us “fast” for a season in our finances.  Scripturally we see this with the Children of Israel in the exodus.  There were times He allowed them to feel lack of provision.

Now I know in my own strength I cannot live this life I am living.  I could not have done the things I have done.  I could not work the job I work or even two if not for His Strength, providence, favor and wisdom and power.  For the Holy Spirit gives life to my body as written in Romans 8.11.  I serve the LORD who is the Source of all things and Jesus is a Good Shepherd.

When the LORD led the children of Israel and they came to places of lack maybe He wanted to lead them to that sacred place.  Moses existed twice for forty days and nights without food or water.  Jesus was in His Presence for 40 days without food or water.  Perhaps this is the place He desires us all to come.  He could have sustained life for the children of Israel without food or water.  He could have brought them all to this most sacred place that He brought Moses and Jesus.  What wonders did they discover in that time of their lives clinging to God and knowing His Sustenance.  Neither of them feared God would not provide for them.  In fact Jesus tells us,  The Father knows what you need before you ask Him, “Seek the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all these things will be added to you.”     He uses times of lack to show us the condition of our hearts.  We will often chase after someone who has money, food, position, authority to grant, or knowledge and wisdom to grant us, even is that person is most evil.  All an evil stranger has to do who has the intentions to do us harm is offer something to us and most of us will go.  We all have to overcome the fear of lack. Some of most insecure people are those who have plenty of money.   This is the first fear from the Fall in the Garden.   The fear that satan introduced to Eve.  She was deceived into believing she was lacking something when she had everything.  Let that sink in for a moment.

I hate lack in my life.  It seems I have struggled with lack my whole life.  But also as I look back in my whole life there is God lifting me, providing for me and guiding me through the hard times.  Encouraging me to keep going.  These moments are gold that will never flee from us.  Perhaps that is what the Apostle Pauls words from the Lord mean “In your weakness my Strength is made full”.  When He can look at us and see His own work in our lives.  When He calmed us.  When He turned our complaining into His Praise and how we cleave to Him.  Does a rich man have this treasure?  Perhaps not so much. What do we focus on.  I want to turn my memories into memories of all the times God has provided for me, not the times I had lack.  I want to remember the evidence of His Providence in my life, not lack.  I heard someone say whose presence do we practice?   When we fear and worry we are not practicing Gods Presence.

You see I have been crying out to God to help me with provision and indeed He assured me He would. However, I know see and repent for the condition of my heart.  I should be crying out to Him because I am struggling and need help with my heart.  I am desperate of heart.  Perhaps my clinging to His Promises and Him and remembering Him when the spirit of lack torments me strengthens my faith and my heart.  Maybe just maybe this ever strengthening faith pleases Him. If I could God one moment of pleasure from his experience with mankind I surely would.  Perhaps God knew what I needed all along which is to overcome this ancient  fear of lack.  He knows our fears and the source of our fear.

Proverbs 23 4-5 Don’t wear yourself out trying to be rich.  Be wise enough to know when to quit.  In the blink of an eye wealth disappears for it will sprout wings and fly away like an eagle.

Jesus said in Luke 6.22

22And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. 23For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! 25And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?c 26If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? 27Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,d yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. 30For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31Instead, seek hise kingdom, and these things will be added to you.

32“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. 33Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. 34For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Adam and Eve lost their position because they didn’t believe Gods Word.  They believed they had lack.    As we follow the second Adam, lets learn about the primordial fears of our inner being and learn to overcome these fears as Jesus did.  I repent for fear and will turn instead my eyes to Praise and honor, giving glory to the One who knows how to heal our innermost being.

Isaiah 55.22 Give your burdens to the LORD and He will take care of you.  He will not permit the Godly to slip and fall.

















Posted by: prayer0617 | September 3, 2016

The Song of the Stars

The Song of the Stars

We gaze at images of the beautiful stars at night all singing their message to the universe

Then the sun rises and at first we are sad….until we realize the beautiful lights are still in the sky

Now they join with the One they were calling in a harmony called Day

As the sun goes through the song called Day, it goes its course to bring Dayspring to the other side of the planet to bring its message of life to all the earth…….

And we are left with the stars of the nightsong to remind us of the glory of the Son and how we are The Sons’s lights too.

We look on earth to the stars like the stars look to us in the sky.  Lights walking along the earth’s darkness…until the Son comes and we sing with Him.

Many of us cannot see many of these stars in the night these days…

So man makes his own lights on the earth to walk by….these lights distract us from the universal song.

And try to block out the message of the stars by night…

Then we are in danger of forgetting the harmonious Song of the Son and stars….

and losing the hope that only this Song can bring.

Search for the harmonious Song of the Son and the stars…

Man can hide but not block out the Son….

Keep your heart’s search active for your notes in the Harmonious Song of the Universe….

Don t forget your life’s purpose and destination here and beyond…


Posted by: prayer0617 | February 14, 2016

The Dark Night of the Soul, The Conclusion of Destiny

Source: The Dark Night of the Soul, The Conclusion of Destiny

Posted by: prayer0617 | February 14, 2016

The Dark Night of the Soul, The Conclusion of Destiny



Inspiration from Genesis 3, Matthew 24 and Matthew 25

We who serve the Lord feel wonderful in worship.  All is right when we feel wrapped in His Presence.  But what determines our destiny is not what happens when wrapped in song in His Presence.

Our destiny is determined by what we do when we do not perceive His Presence with us.  Are we loyal to His Ways and stay in His Paths.  What did Jesus do in the wilderness? Do we heed the whisper of the Holy Spirit to keep us alive and draw us near?  We bring glory to God by what we do in the darkness.

The Lord warns us of the severe circumstances.  Are we listening to serpents and wanting to follow our own ways?  Are we hiding our faith in the earth so no one can see it or would know what we believe? Instead of buying oil did we chase the foolish things of the world?  Making ourselves feel good with counterfeit food?  What does the fruit of our Spirit look like.  Is it thorny?

The circumstances are most severe.  The fall of mankind, being cast into outer darkness, being cut into pieces and put with the hypocrites.  Yes, Jesus is love, and He warned us, His servants of the circumstances of what we do in the darkness.  All of us will fall asleep but only 5 of the bridesmaids will have oil enough for the journey.  All of us were given treasure, but only some are making investments into tomorrow.  All of us struggle with feeling like we are asleep, quiet and suffer trauma.  All of us struggle with temptation and fail sometimes.  We have to be loyal even when we don’t “feel” His Presence.  Our future depends on it. Read it for yourself.

Each of ourselves must ask this question and repent.  Buy oil now while you are awake.  Invest your loyalty and faith in the Kingdom now.  Stop listening to the voice of the serpent.  Seek the whisper of the Holy Spirit who will lead you to the life for your soul.






Posted by: prayer0617 | January 30, 2016

Is anything worth more than your soul?

The question forces a realization.  How much time do we take to care for our souls?  Do we know how to ?

Proverbs 4.23 pleads “Guard your hear above all else, for I determines the course of life.”

In this world of billions it is easy to lose our value.  There is a counterfeit soul of TV , books, music full of thoughts that you don’t want coursing through your soul and body.  What kind of soul will blossom from vanity murder and heartlessness? Junk and poisons for the soul.  Or maybe we embrace numbness.  Maybe our soul is filled with worry and fear.   A soul can be filled with deception and lies.  What difference does that make if I am happy?  Because a soul will not be stilled with deception and lies.  A soul will continually rise up and search for the truth filling us with conflict.

Am I counterfeiting my soul away….?  That is a question only each of us can answer through some honest introspection and prayer.

I have observed people in church and out of church that are conscious of the care of their souls, and people in and out of church that are numb.

The question, Is there anything worth more than our souls should inspire within us all a fight for our soul.  If we do nothing, the world will just wash over us and we will become numb.

Is anything worth more than your soul?  Matthew 26


taking care of my soul

Posted by: prayer0617 | January 2, 2016

The Tree

the  branch

January 1, 2016

There was a bountiful Tree flourishing with Life.  The branches reached and swayed into the heavens in praise and worship to God, the Creator of the Heavens and Earth.  The Tree grew on either side of the River of Life which proceeds from the Throne of God and of The Lamb in the Heavenly city of Jerusalem.  This Tree yielded 12 kinds of fruit and bore fruit in every season.

One day a branch started looking away from the tree and wondering what life would be like “over there”.   Instead of cleaving to the Tree the branch began gazing away from the tree and imaging how life would be away from the tree.  Soon, the branch began to desire to be detached from the Tree and imagined how beautiful and powerful  it would look as his own tree.

The branch gave less and less praise and glory to God and began to admire his  own leaves and fruit and beauty.  “Look at me and my beautiful leaves and how I flow.”  I should be my own tree.  I don’t need this Tree.  What the branch did not realize is it was beginning to turn brown.

The rest of the Tree was vibrant and the branch perceived that it was too, but the branch soon was unable to bear fruit in the appointed time.  As the branch desired to be its own tree “over there”, it became  paler and was losing its life.  The leaves on the branch were no longer any good for healing.

The Husbandman took the branch in His scarred Hands and warned the branch to turn its heart back to the Tree and not away from the tree.  But the branch wanted to be its own tree.

One day the branch fell from the Tree.  At first the branch was very happy.  The branch thought, “I will be a very beautiful tree”.  As the branch lay on the ground it, it did not perceive that it was dead for there were still some green leaves on it.

As the branch lay helpless on the ground next to the tree, the Husbandman came and grafted in a little sprout in the place the branch had fallen from.  He loved the little  sprout and spoke kind words, and the sprout loved Him back.  The branch began to remember when the Husbandman spoke kind words to him too and became jealous over the sprout.  The branch was lying on the ground dying from anger and jealousy.  The branch did not become a beautiful tree instead his leaves were drying out and turning ugly.  He no more flowed and the leaves had not been healing for anyone for quite some time.  The branch began to notice other branches lying on the ground.  A short distance away was a branch cursing away and was filled with anger.  He was shocked at the appearance of the almost dead branch.  He realized he was dying too.  The ground was often cold and lonely and dark at night. The cursing voices of some of the dying branches were ever present, hating the Husbandman, the other branches, and themselves.   Sometimes, servants came into the garden and picked up the dead branches and gathered them to be thrown into the fire.  He realized his time of examination would be soon.

The dying branch began to remember how good life as with the Tree.  All the branches flowing, growing fruit and blossoms and beautiful leaves filled with healing.  How they danced and sang and the Husbandman would come and care for the Tree and branches.  The branch realized he had stopped hearing His voice when his heart turned away to be a tree of its own.  The branch realized that apart from the Tree he could no nothing.  The branch began to realize about how kind the Tree and Husbandman had been and longed to cleave to the tree again.  But the branch could not move, he lay there helpless.  The branch began to praise God in his heart because even as he was dying, God was still worthy of praise and the branch was loving God and thankful for the life he experienced with the Tree and Husbandman. The branch was now brown and looked nothing like the Tree, but decided he would love the Tree and Husbandman anyway.  The branch next to him was still angry and jealous and felt justified in his turning away from the Tree and Husbandman.  The branch grew weaker and decided to spend his remaining energy praising and loving God.

The Husbandman came by searching on the ground.  He stopped by the branch and stooped down.  Tears rolled down the Husbandman’s face and from the branch as the Husbandman picked up the branch, spoke kind words and said “Live”.  “You will live”.  The Husbandman took the branch and pruned away what does not produce life.  The branch was no longer on the ground but in another place where the Husbandman intently worked to prune and care for the branch.  The branch realize all that was left of him was a little sprout of green that was his innermost being.  The rest was pruned away.  The Husbandman took the spout to the River of Life that flows from the Throne of God and dunked the sprout in.  He loved the sprout and blessed it and called the sprout His.  Then He went and cut a place in the Tree where the sprout could grow.  The sprout then realized the Tree was filled with cuts, wounds where the sprouts were tenderly placed to grow.  In fact all the eternal branches in the tree were planted this way.  “You see little one, you have to lose your life so I can save you.” Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat having fallen to the ground should die, it abides alone; but if it should die, it bears much fruit.

The sprout was thankful and cleaved to the Tree where it grew,produced leaves for  healing and eternal fruit for the Husbandman.  Among them fruit of praise, fruit of gratitude, fruit of joy along with all the fruit the tree produces.






















Posted by: prayer0617 | August 23, 2013

Treasures of old….

I love reading through old worship periodicals amazed at how the words come alive even hundreds of years later. I was reading A publication named The Peculiar People published in 1889. The Peculiar People was a Christian publication. This is a reprint from the Jewish Intelligence a poem by Nathaniel W. Carre, A.B. based on a story in the Talmud concerning Rabbi Johannan:

A Legend of The Talmud

Rabbi Johannan on his dying bed

Uplifted painfully his aching head,

And tears coursed slowly down his wasted cheek,

Grieving the souls of his disciples meek,

And, as they bent the head and beat the breast,

There questioned him on bolder than the rest;

“Rabbi, thou light of Israel, whom God

Is taking from our head, we kiss the rod

For we have sinned, and in the dust we bow;

But light of Israel,  why weepest thou? “

Rabbi Zachai answered, low and still, —

His accents made the listeners; blood run chill–

“Hear me, my sons.  If in the morn I stood

Before a mortal king of flesh and blood—

Today in pomp upon the gilded throne,

Tomorrow in the sepulchre alone–

Who, angered, yet his anger might ouspend;

Who binding me, his bondage would have end;

Whose wrath I might appease with costly bride,

Or soothe him by the spokesman of my tribe;

If boure to death at fist of His word,

Eternal death waits not on mortal sword,

Yet then, yet even then–my tears would flow,

Crushed by the heavy weight of human woe.

But now they bear me to the King of kings,

The Lord and Source of all created things,

Who ever and for ever doth endure,

Whose Throne on timeless ages rests secure

Who, angered, will His anger ne’er outspend;

Who binding me, His bondage has no end.

No gem, no jewel can His justice bribe,

Nor can I find a Goel of my tribe;

And if He touch me with the Archangel’s breath,

Eternity is mine of death in death.

And furthermore two ways are opening out

Shrouded in darkness of this sickening doubt,

The downward path that slopes to fire and worm,

The upward course that leads from tear and storm;

And knowing not which course they bear my soul,

Should not, my sons, these tears in anguish roll?”

And neath that awful dread of coming doom,

The Rabbi’s spirit passed into the gloom.

And horror deep weighed down the orphaned hand,

A cold air smote them, by death angels fanned.

And then a cry went wailing through the night,

“Messiah, son of David, bring us light.”

Posted by: prayer0617 | June 2, 2013

Our Sin of Rebellion

I was reading Numbers 15.  Relief washed over me as I read how YHWH forgives the sins that we commit by mistake.  All of us have committed sin by mistake.  But by His mercy He has provided a sacrifice for those sins.

Numbers 15.25- “Then the priest shall make atonement for all the congregation of the children of Israel, and it shall be forgiven them, for it was by mistake.  And they shall bring their offering made by fire to YHWH, and their sin offering before YHWH for their mistake.  And it shall be forgiven all the congregation of the children of Israel and for the stranger who sojourns in their midst, because all the people did it by mistake.  And if a being sins by mistake then he shall bring a female goat a year old as a sin offering.  And the priest shall make atonement for the being who strays by mistake before YHWH, to make atonement for him, and it shall be forgiven him.  For him who does whatever by mistake there is one Torah both for him who is native among the children of Israel and for the stranger who sojourns in their midst. “

My heart felt a great sense of relief.  Have we all sinned by mistake?   Yes we all have.  Before we knew right from wrong, we all have done wrong.  A provision was made for us to acknowledge the mistake and turn toward Him.  The next passage set my heart to tremble.

Numbers 15.30 “But the being who does whatever defiantly, whether he is native or a stranger, he reviles YHWH and that shall be cut off from among the people.  “Because he has despised the word of YHWH, and has broken is command, that being shall certainly be cut off, his crookedness is upon him.”  

I have to confess this passage sets me to trembling.  Can any of us say that we have never committed sin in rebellion.  Can any of us say that we knew it was in The Scriptures not to do something, but we decided to go ahead and do what was against His Words anyway?  Because we perceive YHWH isn’t here anyway and the thing we desire is?  How about sins of the heart, knowing that we are not supposed to despise our neighbor and we speak cruelty against them.  Or treat people coldly?  Or lie?  How many times has a lie or half truth popped out of your mouth to protect your identity?  Wow right?  The Scriptures tell us there is only one of us who has not committed this sin.  Doing whatever defiantly.  There was no animal sacrifice listed for being defiant against YHWH.

I will confess I have been guilty of being defiant.  So I am deserving of being cut off and my crookedness is upon me.   I was cursed whether I realized that about my life it was in The Scriptures that I was cursed.   The curse was still working destruction in my life I just didn’t know why.  But who never sinned in this way, became a curse for us so we could have life and be reconciled to YHWH.   Behold the mysteries of  Yeshua’s death, my being born again in His Name and His sending the Holy Spirit (The Ruach Ha Kodesh) to grow me up from a child of rebellion and destruction to someone who can follow Yeshua.  Does that mean I wont make mistakes?  No I will make mistakes.  Before I shrunk away from God’s Words because I knew I personally didn’t have what it takes to be accepted by Him. Now I know I have to accept Yeshua’s sacrificial death which brings me life and He will grow me up.  I am also thankful that my heart trembles at being defiant against Yeshua (Jesus), His Father and the Holy Spirit He sent to walk us home.   Therefore repentance and forgiveness can be preached in His Name (Yeshua = Yah’s salvation) Jesus and there is hope for us yet again.


passover lamb Yeshua redeemed sm

Posted by: prayer0617 | April 6, 2012

Passover 2012



This year Passover corresponds with Good Friday.  I have always tried to ponder the many mysteries of this sacrifice of our Elohim for us.  His Beloved Son for our lives.  Along with the wonder at the physical manifestation of what we have done to Elohim when I remember him flogged, riduculed, spit upon, humilated, nailed (even one nail would seem so excruciating) and to be nailed upon a cross for 6 hours.  As even the earth knew enough to mourn in darkness, but mankind, HIs own creation did not.  Look what we have done to Our Creator… You may say, “But I wasn’t there!” But the truth of the matter is we have all been disloyal to HIm.  It is in our nature.  Before we believed HIm we all ridiculed Him in our heart, HIs ways are not our ways until He can work with us.  His heart is not our heart. 

Why do we oberve Passover? Because Scriptures command me to and my Savior did. (Exodus 12)  Some may say “But He “didnt have Good Friday!”  He wasn’t even crucified on a Friday…. But that is for another time…. “

The First Cup in the Seder meal is the cup of Sanctification.  This represents that we are set apart.  Yeshua said in

John 17.19 “And for them I set Myself apart, so that they too might be set apart in truth.”

Sanctification is really a life-long process.  Over life I see where I have been separated from people – to be sanctified.  The word profane means to be common.  It is the longing of people to be common, liked and accepted by everyone.  Rejection hurts.  There is a part inside us that longs to be Holy, moving toward our Creator not away from Him.  It is the inner conflict in all of us.  When He answers that prayer for us, many of us long to be common again.  Many times He uses other people’s rejection of us to move us away from them.  Remember when the Pharoah’s heart was hardened?  The Pharoah  really did not value the Hebrew people anyway, that came out in truth. When we are being sanctified we look outside our invisible fences and long sometimes to be profane, common, like everyone else, accepted by everyone else. 

In our lives that is not what we are called to be.  He is sanctifying us, even Yeshua had to leave the comfort of His disciples, His community.  Our story is one of separation as light and darkness are being separated from our lives, but also being unified with people as love is made stronger.  We find when we love our Creator with all our heart, all our soul, all our will and all our strength, He teaches us about Covenant.  How we cannot join our hearts to every common thing… Then in His commands He also loves our neighbors through us.  Giving us compassion that we did not have before. 

Our meal tonight will not be a perfect Seder…rather a discussion about the purpose of it all with our children.  Trying our best to fulfill the commandment…and praying that our Creator will be there in the midst of it all.

Posted by: prayer0617 | March 15, 2012

Sara Jayne VanRiper a story of Hope Fulfilled


My mom Sara Jayne VanRiper went to heaven on March 13, 2012 at 3:00 am following her most recent battle with cancer to her lungs and her brain. When someone leaves this earth, I often search the stories and obituaries for any sign of our Creator in thier lives.  You often hear of worldy accomplishments but very little about that person’s relationship if any with our Lord, Jesus. This article is about her amazing salvation.   Her life was a battlefield,filled with many battles.  But in the end the Lord won the war for her.  He manifested His work on the cross 2000 years ago now, even this very year.

My mom was the type of person that people liked to compare their own lives to and look down on her. She made some really bad choices, and some good ones.  When she became pregnant at 16 she got married to my dad and I was born.  They had a home in the country and I am sure her and my dad had so many dreams.  She graduated from high school by going to night school.  She loved to plant flowers like her father, who tragically died of heart disease shortly after he retired and when I was less than three.  She made dinners at night and took up homemaking – she loved my dad and had such high hopes to make a good home.  Tragically, though, my dad who was older and already addicted to alchol was loyal to that lifestyle.  Without detail it is good to say she had to leave him and go back to her mom’s house with two little girls when I was 6 and my sister 3.  My mom continued to love my dad and we did too until his death in 1974. With the hurt and woundedness and the lure of the 70s she drifted further and further into the world; the bars, looking for acceptance.  Her panic at providing for two children barely able to make much money.  College was an option she could see.  The cursed lifestyle is a cruel and hard one.  When something looks like it could be good, it is taken away from you.  She spent most of her life tourmented.  When she was sober and free she was kind and soft spoken, and still liked to cook and plant flowers. 

When she became ill at the end she was bedridden.  There was no more running from our Creator in her shame and doubt that He would ever accept her.  After all she had spent all those years trying to make it right on her own and it her own without Him.  She could only look at her life and how she had been destroyed and destroyed herself ….hurt people eventually and surely hurt people in return if wounds are left unhealed.  But then her night ended and dawn was on the horizon.

She thought her lasting legacy on this earth would be the research  being done on her body at MSU because she had LEMS disease.  When she had lung cancer in the 90s Dow Chemcial had treated her and her body was failing as a result of the treatments. She had blood poisoning – and they were studying the effects the treatments had on her body back then.  She had hoped that if anything good would come from her life that would be her contribution so save any suffering from anyone else. 

During her last time in the hospital my brother and his mom were in the hospital praying and praying for her.  The news was not good, she never went back to another hospital but rather into hospice care.  Hospice was a tool that God used to show His Mercy and Providence and Love.  She could rest in hospice care. She had nothing but good things to say about hospice.

I called her one Sunday night and she told me I was on the list of people she wanted to call. She called many people that day to say her “goodbyes”.  She had recently told me she felt the presence of “other worldly beings’ .  She could feel God’s mercy and His drawing her.  She had definately been in His Presence and it was the most beautiful salvation I  had ever experienced.  She and I was crying and she was telling me that He was forgiving her for everything,  We cried and she told me about being reconciled back to God and how she knew Jesus was waiting for her.  She went on to tell me how wonderful heaven is and  how people she thought were gone are not gone, but yet they exist.  When I asked her how she is going to feel seeing her family she told me that relationships in heaven are without any evil in them so she could look forward to seeing her family. She tearfully agreed with me that there is no greater joy on this earth than being reconciled back to God.  It was something she never expected would happen and yet His Mercy and Love for her overwhelmed her and warmed her.  She could see His blessing in her life as people brought her things and cared for her.  Things she could not get before because she didnt have enough money.  Simple things like Ensure, baked goods just an overflow of good things in her life.   Over the next few weeks even though her body was perishing I had no doubt she was being prepared for Heaven.Cancer may have ensnared her body but for the first time in her life she was truly free inside.  She was free.   She slept alot. I tried to just let her speak to me about what she was experiencing and what she wanted to say.  She was happy that my sister has a good life and she was content with my life.  She loved my sister very much and was happy that we loved her. She spoke with my husband Paul, my son Brett and my daughter Courtney,  That meant so much to her to hear her grandchildren’s voices.  She left earth knowing that we loved her and she loved us.  My mom’s story is one of hope fulfilled.  Proof that for those who seek to know God no matter how late in life, He will be there for them.  He is the One hope that was not shattered and broken into pieces, but the One hope fulfilled.   

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